Bethea's Blog

September 15, 2021 - Sending Yourself the Right Message!

Clients often come to me with the impression that something is missing from their life. Some feel they aren't attractive enough, or smart enough, or brave enough, and it is that particular deficiency that is keeping them from leading the happy and successful life they desire. That is what I want to bring up and set straight with this week's message.

These kinds of feelings come from low self-esteem, and unfortunately, this state of mind is a real obstacle to our obtaining happiness. That's because our self-esteem, or the way we view ourselves, has a huge impact upon how we live our life. From the time we are young, we look to others for approval, yet instead many of us receive messages that we are deficient in some way. These messages could imply that we aren't thin enough, dressed well enough, rich enough, educated enough, etc, and that is simply not the case! Messages such as these can make us self-critical and can result in our comparing ourselves with others, which can lead us to feel that we don't measure up. The truth is that each one of us has gifts as well as limitations, and it is important for us to learn how to live harmoniously with both.

We have the power to make changes, realistic choices, and can look for our own success in the opportunities that present themselves to us or opportunities that we create. It is never too late to learn to work on creating a more positive self-image. Try doing new and interesting things that make your life more fun and exciting. For example, you could take up a sport or activity that you have always wanted to do, but haven't been confident enough to try. I realize there may be some limitations in our current environment, but if you think about it, I am sure you can come with a safe solution to take on the activities you are interested in pursuing.

I don't want you to neglect taking care of your body. We are only blessed with one and it needs care and maintenance. It is important to eat well, sleep at least 7 hours a night, get exercise and pay attention to our personal hygiene and appearance. If you are not happy with what you see in the mirror, maybe you can boost your self-esteem with some self care such as a minor makeover or a membership at the gym. When you look good, you are very likely to feel good as well.

Most importantly, try to avoid people and situations that leave you feeling bad about yourself. Gravitate toward those relationships and experiences that leave you feeling positive. And pay attention to your internal dialogue. If your internal conversation is negative, stop yourself whenever you realize it is happening, and immediately restate the thought with a positive focus. If you cultivate a positive attitude towards yourself, others will surely respond.